After working in childcare for the last 18 years, I often get questions from parents and caregivers about discipline and how to help their children. Oftentimes, it’s along the lines of my child wanting to do X, but I know as a parent that isn’t the right choice for them, i.e., a child not wanting to sit in their car seat or wanting them to wear a jacket when it is cold outside. The first thing we usually talk about is how, as a parent, it is our job to keep our children out of harm’s way, help them learn, and how we best do that for each child. Sometimes, like sitting in a car seat, these are non-negotiable choices, and the child must sit in one to be safe. Then there are things like wearing a jacket when it’s cold that I like to advise parents that this an excellent opportunity to practice Natural Consequences.
Natural Consequences are those things that happen in response to your child’s behavior without parental involvement. The consequences can be incredibly effective, and my favorite example of Natural Consequences includes my oldest daughter, Cate. When she was three years old, there was a huge snowstorm that blew through Oklahoma City. Now, Cate, being three years old, had some rather strong opinions on her clothing like most three-year-olds do. We were trying to get to school on this specific day, and I advised her on which shoes to wear. Cate was determined to wear her sandals, so in true Natural Consequence fashion, I allowed her to wear them. We arrived at St. Luke’s and walked across the street and into the building, during which Cate got incredibly upset at how cold her feet were. I reminded her about our earlier conversation that her feet would likely get cold because there was snow on the ground but that she insisted on wearing them and that next time it snows, she might want to wear the warm boots to keep this from happening. Cate is now 8 years old and reminds me of the time she wore sandals in the snow and what she learned from doing that.
I liken the discipline and love we show our children to the love that God shows us. Sometimes, we must love our children enough to allow them the space to make mistakes that can’t hurt them severely but allow them to learn and be there to love them unconditionally through it. God gave us the Bible to use as our guide and advisor.
Mandi Coleman, Director of St. Luke’s Downtown Campus Childcare Center
