In my deep and lasting relationships, like those with my family and friends, I have found that we have the most extraordinary ability to bring each other absolute joy and absolute pain. Of course, no one complains during the times of absolute joy. There are plenty of smiles, hugs, and laughter. We look forward to seeing each other and are sad to depart. However, there are other times when I have hurt and been hurt by these same special people. I find myself feeling full of guilt when I have been the offender – guilty that I hurt someone special to me. Guilty that I didn’t see how my behavior or words would impact them. And when I feel guilty, I hide. I don’t call. I don’t text. I won’t answer the phone. And, as you know, this does nothing to help the situation.
As I turn to prayer, I am able to remember that our Lord and Savior offers shelter and forgiveness in an unconditional way. That through Him, I find vision to recognize my own shortcomings and the strength to admit those shortcomings – and to ask for forgiveness from those I have hurt. I rely on His foundation to prop me up. Asking for forgiveness is hard because there is always a chance the other person will not accept your apology.
It’s the risk we take when we choose to have deep relationships. Knowing God has forgiven me for my transgressions provides the path for me to ask others for forgiveness and to offer forgiveness when I have the opportunity. I know I am always grateful to receive a heartfelt apology and a chance to clear the air. I know that I am truly blessed to experience God’s forgiveness.
Robyn Hilger, Executive Director, El Sistema Oklahoma
