Why?

I have spent so much of my life asking “why?”, wondering about the purpose of suffering and the depth of joy; seeking answers about the origin of hate and the peace found in forgiveness. I remember interrogating my parents growing up with limitless queries about why the world works the way it does and spending my young adult years trying to figure out why it has to continue that way.

After nearly 30 years of searching, I can’t say I am much closer to the answers I desperately seek. I still don’t know why we can feel lonely in a crowded room or how it is possible to feel oceans away from a God who is walking right beside us. Perhaps it’s the chaotic world we are navigating—the beautiful struggle of this life—that pulls our attention to that probing question, “why?” If we can come up with a logical reason, then we can make order out of the chaos.

God hasn’t yet revealed to me why I have to know deep grief. Nor have I learned why He has blessed me with the most wonderful people that I get to share meaningful bonds with in this life. I can’t yet emotionally grasp why Jesus had to die for my sins and I don’t understand why God answers my prayers.

While there are still so many questions floating around my head, I know that ultimately God has already given me the answer—love. Love is the answer. Love is why I miss my sister and it’s why I am so deeply connected to the people around me. God showed us love in Jesus—a love I cannot fully comprehend, but a love that blesses me every day nonetheless. When I am confused, when I am seeking answers and trying to find my way, Christ’s words in John chapter 14, verse 27 bring me immense comfort: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

-Beth Armstrong, Director of Adult Ministries