“…And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32
My world was completely rocked as an 8th grader. The unthinkable had happened. My parents had divorced. My dad, the music director of the only church that I had ever been a part of, had made a choice that damaged our family, and that church in a tremendous way. My brother and I left for church camp on Monday morning, as we looked out the window of the bus our parents were holding hands, waving good-bye. When we returned Friday evening, our friend’s parents gave us a ride home and the scene at our house was unlike any you could imagine. My parents were sitting across the living room from each other; they asked about camp and we shared the highlights.
After my brother and I shared our experiences of the week my father shared the highlights of their week. While we had been away, they had gotten a divorce. Not started the process, not separated. The divorce was final. It was then that my father asked if we wanted to see mom’s new apartment. I was livid.
To say that I had a hard time forgiving my dad was an understatement. I held onto that lack of forgiveness for what seemed like, forever. I didn’t feel that my father deserved forgiveness, and even if he did…It wasn’t going to come from me. Many times, God and others encouraged me to forgive my dad. I just couldn’t bring myself to make that choice.
Years passed and the damage of holding that grudge plagued my life. One day, during my junior year of college, I was listening to an album, much too loudly, in my house. My roommates were gone. I was listening to Michael W. Smith’s’ “Hallelujah!” I was on my third or fourth time through the same song, as the words, “Worthy is the lamb,” hit me like a brick. What Jesus had done for us, paid the price…not just for me, not even just for my dad’s transgressions, but for all that has happened…and all that ever will. It was in that moment, I chose to forgive my dad or what he had done.
The freedom that came from that moment was transforming. Thank God, He chose to speak to me through that song.
Rev. Jeremy Sanders, Pastor of Program Ministries
