“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20
A few weeks ago, we found a set of walkie-talkies that my kids were quickly interested in playing with and using. I didn’t participate in many of the walkie-talkie conversations, but I was around either inside or outside with one of them while they were attempting a conversation with the other. I gave a few tips to help them communicate more effectively. I reminded them that if they were both pushing the button and talking at the same time, they wouldn’t hear what the other person was saying, and the other person would not hear them. So, they would have to be patient and be ready to listen as well as respond. The excitement of the items really just turned into reports from both of them and they didn’t seem to mind too much that the other person might not be hearing what they were saying.
There are other situations in our life when we really want to be heard, and it can cause us great hurt and angst as we try to share. In fact, we start focusing so much on having our perspective, experience, or opinion shared that we will keep talking even when others are talking. But when we’re talking and someone else is talking, we limit ourselves on what we actually hear from others. It can even be like we’re all pressing the button on the walkie talkie. We get to a point where we don’t even realize that someone else may be saying something because our conversation just becomes about what we have to say and that’s it.
This verse in James reminds us that we should listen first and then speak. James knows that our closed ears and hasty replies can lead to disagreements, conflict, and anger. He tells us practically, that this is not the way God desires us to live. There’s so much truth in this advice that I think we should take a breath and consider how we use our ears and hearts to listen and how we use our words that either come out of our mouths or are typed through our fingers. In the conflicts in our world today, I think we have a lot of voices trying to be heard. People are spending a lot of time talking over each other. I’m encouraged by ways that people are trying to sit back and listen, even to consider a different perspective than they are typically used to. I think we can all continue to find ways to listen more and listen better. Be ready to hear from others and hear from God. However, take your time in what you say and how you may respond. I’m hopeful that if more people could heed this advice from James, we might see less anger in our conflicts and more of the righteousness in our hearts and actions that God desires.
Amy Givens, Director of Youth Ministry