“It (Love) does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.” – 1 Corinthians 13:6
On average, research shows that we have over 20 conversations every day. We have multiple interactions at work, home, and in public places like the grocery store and restaurants. These conversations can be positive or negative. I have recently been thinking about the many interactions I have with children, parents, staff, and so many more people throughout the day.
One concern I have, of late, is about the growing amount of criticism there seems to be in our culture. Have you ever found yourself criticizing a person because of something they are doing or have done? Have you stopped and thought about the fact that you probably do the same thing? People who are constantly putting people down see you as a mirror. They are criticizing things they don’t like about themselves, in other words, projecting.
I have become very aware of this over the past couple of years. More and more people have been put in a place that they are not comfortable. The pandemic has caused a lot more people to not appreciate the good things about themselves. We have spent a lot more time with each other due to quarantine and working from home. I have noticed that little things we once overlooked have become great big things that are a source of great irritation.
Listening to some people and their constant criticism can bring out the worst in us. It can cause us to become agitated and angry. When people are overly critical, chances are it has more to do with them than you, or the person they’re criticizing.
When we encounter people who are negative, we need to treat them with kindness. Give them an overabundance of positive emotions. Give them a compliment or a smile, ask them to have coffee or a meal with you. Spend time with them. You may not see a change at first, but continuing the path of kindness will be rewarded and they will soon react with positivity as well.
The next time you are about to be critical of someone, be aware and make a different choice. Being critical is often making assumptions that are not true. Going to the source is always your best option. If you catch yourself getting ready to say something about someone, ask yourself, “How do I know?” Speculating behind their back is neither productive nor helpful.
If all else fails, remember what I am sure all parents tell their children, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!”
Moving past the pandemic, each of us should make a commitment to ourselves to be kind to one another. When you start to say words that would hurt, think of a way to change your narrative. The world needs kind words, expressed in love. We should not rejoice in wrong, but celebrate what is right.
“The self-righteous scream judgements against others to hide the noise of skeletons dancing in their own closets.” – John Mark Green
– Gabrielle Moon, Executive Director of St. Luke’s Children’s Centers
