One morning when Brooks was a young boy, I was backing out of the garage and became distracted. I felt a dull thud as my car hit the basketball goal. I groaned and asked Brooks to hop out and check if there was any damage. I watched him walk to the back of the car and then – thoroughly examine the basketball goal for any marks. He got back in and said, “Whew, it’s fine.” I sat there for a second and then asked him if he checked the car. He seemed surprised but immediately got out and gave the bumper a cursory look before letting me know that it too, was ok.
I’ve often thought of the incredulity I felt over Brooks not realizing that I was concerned about my car. But I’m sure that Brooks was just as surprised that I wasn’t more worried about the basketball goal. The truth is that we will all have different things that we consider important at different times of our lives. It becomes even more complicated in times when we are busy. In those moments, judgment is impaired by the emotions that are evoked by busyness. On a stressful morning, after backing into a basketball goal – I was concerned about the car bumper. The reality was (and is) that a bumper, as well as a basketball goal, pale in comparison to how important my children are.
I miss the time I had with Brooks when I drove him to school. And now that our daughter Hannah is living in Texas, I miss getting to see her on a daily basis. Of course, I wish that I would have made more special time with them instead of the things I considered “important” at the time; but I can’t change the past, and feeling guilty doesn’t help me in the present. But, I can make the most of the Lenten season to refocus my heart and mind on what is truly important in life.
It is why I continually practice giving something up for Lent. I have found that giving up something minor (coffee, diet soda, sweets, etc.) becomes a daily reminder to re-center my life toward the things that really matter. Giving up the insignificant helps me to remember the significant things in my life.
In hindsight, a car bumper has never been important. But our basketball goal is a source of numerous memories – the games that have been played and all the conversations that have happened between me and my kids and between the two of them. If I had been looking in the rearview mirror and not been distracted, I would have seen what really mattered – time with my family. Let Lent be a time when you look in the mirror to see what is truly important in your life.
Rev. Wendy Lambert, Senior Executive Pastor
