At forty, I often conjure up this image of wrapping myself in bubble wrap, strapping on a helmet, and sticking noise-cancelling headphones in my ears to protect myself from committing to anything else that day. On my desk at St. Luke’s, I have a whimsical drink coaster a friend of mine gave me years ago with a picture of a blonde-haired woman wearing an enormous smile with a quote bubble above her head that reads, “Stop me before I volunteer again.” No gift has ever defined me more.
I am driven to help others, to make a difference, to see the good, and go after it. I believe our world needs kind, caring people who are willing to do what needs to be done to solve problems. We need leaders who use their voices to speak out when injustice happens, to advocate for those who are marginalized and hurting. We need the people who DO rather than wait. To my credit and to my detriment, I am a doer. I have a wise friend who once told me that NO is a complete sentence. That word is not readily part of my vocabulary, but in this season of Lent, I am spending some time reflecting on the most valuable gift I have in this life. Time. When I commit to everything and everyone to please others or fill a need (real or imagined), I place a large burden on my spirit and my family. You see, the constant demands of doing more, being better, and serving others loses its magical powers and becomes tension, worry, and depression. When I am spending the better part of my time with my children checking emails, responding to texts, and creating check lists for my check lists, I am robbing every person of that most precious time.
My older sister Krista is both mortified and mystified by my seemingly inexhaustible self. My schedule makes her tired just hearing it. She is the opposite of me, and I am, in turn, in awe of her ability to set firm boundaries with others, protecting her time and energy. Krista is a healer of others, and invests in the care and keeping of children as a pediatrician. But when she is home, she and her husband take every opportunity to be part of this glorious life by traveling, camping, and exploring different cultures. She will do absolutely anything for those she loves, but she has always practiced self-care by giving up the clutter, the race, and overcommitments.
For Lent, I am giving up overcommitting. Now, I am unclear how this will unfold, but to do God’s work, I must be healthy. God calls us to take care of ourselves so we can help others.
– Candice Hillenbrand, Director of Mission Engagement
