Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. – Colossians 3:12
With fury in his eyes, he walked swiftly toward me. Each step he took raised my anxiety level. I started thinking about how to avoid getting attacked.
“You shouldn’t be here!” he growled at me with a clenched jaw. “You think this is funny?”
He was the father of a young man who had just died in a drunk driving accident. His son had been behind the wheel with two friends on a Saturday night. Police said they had been drinking and speeding when the driver lost control and hit a tree. All three died at the scene.
I dreaded covering these types of stories. But in the news business, you’re sometimes assigned to make contact with families who have just experienced a tragedy. It was the worst part of my job as a reporter.
This father must have heard that a news truck was at his ex-wife’s house. As my photographer co-worker and I were sharing our condolences with her, he pulled up in his pickup, screeched to a halt, jumped out, and started toward me. When he got within ten feet, she jumped in front of him and started yelling for him to calm down. He tried to get around her. “I’m so sorry,” I kept saying, but his threats continued. I didn’t blame him at all for being upset about our presence, because some reporters can be extremely insensitive following tragedies.
But then, because he was so close, I noticed the tears in his eyes. There was more pain than anger in his glare. I knew he had to be hurting, but I hadn’t really “felt” his sorrow until that moment. If our eyes are the windows to our souls, I could clearly see that his soul was devastated.
I continued expressing how sorry I was about his son’s accident, but now he seemed more receptive to those words. Perhaps my expression had changed, and he could see that my sympathy was sincere, not driven by fear of a confrontation. Maybe he saw that I was really listening to him – that his agony was not falling on deaf ears. For whatever reason, his face softened as he turned around in silence and left.
It’s not easy following the advice of Colossians 3:12, especially when confronted with anger. But it’s amazing what compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience can do to calm someone’s soul. If we remember to clothe ourselves with those qualities, our “enemies” might find what they’re really looking for. Love.
Ed Doney (staff writer)
