The family needs to attend Mom’s doctor appointment. They found something on the scan. How could that be? We were testing her eyesight. What did they mean they ‘found something on the scan?’
My late mother-in-law, Karen, was like a second mother to me. We were almost as opposite as two women could be. Me, a career girl rising fast in my field, who can barely do laundry and can only cook when the stars align. Her, a pastor’s wife who made a home for four children, made everything from scratch, and sewed her own clothing. Yet somehow, we just got each other.
But here we were at the doctor…brain cancer. Her eyesight was failing because she had a brain tumor and that was just the first tumor they found. It had not occurred to me to contemplate Karen’s mortality. Surely, we were too young to lose a parent. That happened to people much older than us. The 22 months that we spent caring for Karen were absolutely some of the most fearful and anxiety-inducing times of my life. I was astounded that as her disease progressed, Karen actually became more peaceful. She laughed more easily. She enjoyed the time she spent with her dog, Buddy. She loved seeing the leaves change, the smell of the coffee in the morning, her favorite perfume, and she was absolutely set on ensuring that every family recipe was written down!
One day, when I was staying with her as she got to the point of not being able to be alone, I asked her, “Mom, how can you be so calm? Aren’t you scared? What is going to happen?” She said she was sad there would be many things she would miss: new grandchildren, graduations, band concerts, and even her OU Sooner Football team getting another championship. But, she wasn’t afraid. She knew that she would be with her heavenly Father. She spoke almost with impending excitement. Then she said something that I will never forget. She said “I pray for you every day… that you will be at peace with my passing and that you can see God’s love for me and God’s love for you too.”
During Lent, we seek to be attuned to Jesus’ struggle, sacrifices, and ultimately, execution. But we know this dark season will be redeemed as the sun rises on His Resurrection. When Karen passed two days later, I was sad but I also had a sense of peace that had eluded me for almost the entire time of her illness. I know that I saw God’s strength and promise fulfilled in Karen and I will remember how she showed me God’s love and strength during a very dark time.
Robyn Hilger, Director of El Sistema
