You just fall into a deep sleep and your head is slowly drifting off the side of the bed when the dog licks your face and wakes you up…not so grateful. You finally get the car washed and it’s sparkling but as you park, SPLAT, you know what lands on your windshield…not so grateful. You plan and are so excited about your upcoming mission trip and you end up with emergency eye surgery because your retina has detached so you can’t make the trip…not so grateful. Your son calls to tell you he got a new job but it’s in Indiana…not so grateful. You are happy about saving some extra money and the air conditioning goes out at your house…not so grateful.
Let’s be honest, it is hard to be grateful all the time. Life happens and gratitude is not the first thing that come to mind. That attitude of gratitude quickly becomes a “Baditude”. When you are feeling this way, inevitably your well-intended friend or friends will say, “Be grateful it can be fixed……or there is always a silver lining……or it must be God’s plan”. Ahh! I don’t know about you but that just makes me feel worse because frankly I just need to wallow a bit! Those comments usually make me feel worse because I then end up feeling guilty because everyone tells me I “should be” grateful!!
However, during our year here at St. Luke’s of focusing on gratitude, I have been daily writing down at least three things to be grateful in a journal. This practice has helped ease the tension of those not so grateful moments. Most importantly, it has helped me be more present in today. By intentionally being aware of the amount of things I am grateful for daily, my soul is filled with joy, peace and happiness.
I’m also learning not to feel guilty or deny those times when I don’t feel grateful. I’m learning that it takes the bad to see and appreciate the good sometimes. So, I take some time to wallow when things don’t go as planned or life happens. When I’m ready, I pick up my journal and glance my gratitude lists and I’ve added a column for not so grateful moments. The amount of things I have to be grateful for far outweighs those few rough times when gratitude is hard to find.
My dog is very protective of me.
Got new car and don’t have to worry about old one breaking down all the time.
So many loving friends and family took care of me and came to visit after surgery.
Saved some money.
Son got a new job that he has worked so very hard to obtain.
Dad turned 90, Mom turned 87 and they celebrated 66 years of marriage.
Had a great family trip to Broken Bow.
Fun girls weekend with friends from college.
Had a wonderful cookout and made memories with son and family as they travelled through town on their move to Indiana.
Spent some great quality time with my daughter in Dallas.
Incredibly grateful for my 30+ cousins and our recent family reunion.
On and on….
Baditude returns to Gratitude.
Julie Robinson, Executive Director, Studio 222
