When I hear the 23rd Psalm, I think about the shepherd who leads us beside the still waters, who walks with us through the darkness of that valley, and it is the shepherd who steers us toward the paths of righteousness. For those of us who are parents or grandparents, I think what a wonderful model we have in this Psalm for what it means to love those in our care. Like the shepherd, we need to be present for our children. We need to encourage them to make good choices, and we need to protect them when they are in danger.
I couldn’t help but think about how sometimes parents live vicariously through our children. As a youngster, I played baseball but was never a standout. So, when my son, Joshua, played baseball, I was his biggest cheerleader but also his harshest critic.
I remember a game years ago when Josh came to bat in the 9th with his team down a run and men on base. There were two outs, so Josh needed a hit to tie the game. Quickly, he worked the count full. I wanted him to swing and have a chance to tie the game. I think he was just trying not to strike out and coax a walk. I yelled from the stands, “Protect the plate.” Smart players understand with two strikes you may have to swing at a pitch that is a ball to make sure you’re not called out on strikes. Josh dug in for the pitch and sat there while it sailed by and the ump yelled, “strike three…you’re out.” The game ended in a loss while Josh stood at the plate with the bat on his shoulder. I couldn’t believe it. I hollered at him after the game, “You have to protect the plate”! I wouldn’t let it go and finally his stepmother flashed me a look that let me know I had made my point. Josh felt terrible that he had let his team down, and perhaps felt worse that his dad was so disappointed in him. As time went on, I began to feel regretful that I had been so hard on a 7th grader. I decided I needed to be a better encourager.
The following year, Josh played basketball. The first game he sat on the bench the entire time, never once getting into the game. For a kid used to being successful in all sports, he was embarrassed. He was so humiliated he cried in the car on the way home. I could have been critical of him, saying he took bad shots, or he wasn’t physical enough in his rebounding. Instead, I called his coach a day later. I asked how I could help Josh earn more playing time. Sometimes, dads are hard on their sons. I know my dad was often critical of me, and I had inherited that trait. But I learned that parenting also requires encouragement and reasonable expectations. Just as our heavenly Father, the shepherd, models for us…loving our kids and grandkids means giving our best when they succeed and especially when they fail.
-Rev. Dave Poteet, Pastor of Congregational Care
